Femme Fantastik Tour

What a Trip

2007-09-22T08:05:00.001-05:00

The photos tell the story, but I will confirm, the Femme Tour got off to a really great start! We sold lots of books and met lots of our troops. Not to mention making memories that will last a lifetime. Besides meeting medics that looked all of fifteen and had already seen action, we visited the Oklahoma City bombing site. It was the most humbling experience I've had in a long time. After the tears passed, we left and went to Ihop where the girls ate like we hadn't been fed all day! Thank you to all the managers and PX personnel who helped us on this tour. We appreciate you so much and we hope to visit your base again soon. Enjoy the photos and stay posted for more blogs.
JBM-Carmen Green

Countdown to The Femme Fantastik Tour

2007-08-20T09:52:00.000-05:00

Hi Friends,
Yesterday I saw Berta Platas at the GRW meeting, and I asked her had she started working out in preparation for the Femme Fantastik Tour. She gave me this quizzical look. No, was her cryptic reply. I told her no offense, but Lori and Nina get sick on tour. They eat the wrong food and the next thing you know, you're carrying Nina's bag of 2000 shoes and dragging Lori on a stretcher to the nearest ER for an allergy scare. ReShonda, well, she can't stop having babies, and Trisha, well, she's just special. I'm the only healthy one, I told her, sucking in one cheek. That usually means I'm lying, but, whatever. I suggested a couple chin ups, some bicep and tricep curls and jogging for endurance would be in order. Berta, for the record, didn't believe me. (Her mistake)

In all seriousness, in less than 30 days our tour will begin. Last year we had allergy scares, bootleg limousine rides, book and author no shows and funny radio interviews, but in the midst of it all we were honored to meet the service men and women who make it possible for us to sleep at night. We loved meeting their families on church Sunday's, their children on cheerleading and haircut Saturday's, and their mother's and father's shopping in the PX on Friday's. It was our pleasure to shake their hands, give a hug of encouragement and share a laugh with these brave young people. Selling our books was a gift to us, not them. I gained so much. Humility. Honor. Pride. I learned from these people about the meaning of bravery.
This year we're bigger and we're bringing a few guest authors with us. So get ready because here we come. We'll see you in a few weeks!
Carmen

Femmes on the Soul Expressions Tour

2007-08-13T21:05:00.001-05:00

ReShonda (Deceptakon), Lori (Diva Lite), and Nina (Diva Goddess) standing by the Soul Expressions Bus--our chariot for four days as we traveled across Indiana and Illinois. The nicknames--those given to us by our bus Wrangler.

Lori and Nina working the table in Wal-Mart. We visited 12 stores in three days in two states. We were working it!

ReShonda, Billy Dee, Lori's little head, and Nina at the Wal-Mart in Country Club Hills, IL. The man is aging nicely. A bit slower than days past but still smooth as hell. He joined us at the Wal-Mart and then later in the evening for a public meet and greet with the public. There was a private reception with just the 19 authors and Billy where we got to speak to him and take pictures.

All these pictures are courtesy of Nina Foxx. Visit her blog, The Vixen Chronicles, for more highlights of the tour.

Back on the Bus

2007-07-25T18:09:00.000-05:00

Look for four out of the seven Femmes on the upcoming Levy Home Entertainment's Soul Expressions Author Tour. ReShonda, Nina, Trisha and Lori will climb on board August 8-12 with several other authors visiting Walmart stores in Indiana and Illinois. It should be very interesting as we spend four days on a 'luxury motor coach' or as Nina puts it a Greyhound Bus with DVD players. ReShonda has already inquired if there is a first class section (she'll need the space as in the four days she's sure to knock out at least two books) and Trisha is threatening to bring her 'mop and shine' out in each stop! Lori refuses to sit a) in the back by the lavatory and b) next to Nina's shoe trunks. We're thinking of running a contest to have you guess how many shoes Nina brings on the bus with her but we can't come up with an appropriate prize. A gift certificate to DWS perhaps? We'll keep you posted.

We'll be blogging on the road and I know our budding movie director will be posting more embarrassing footage. God, please don't let me get caught in that oh so embarrassing "asleep on the bus, mouth open snoring like a lumberjack pose." I'll swear on the life of my kids that my head was superimposed on Carmen's body (wait, she can't be there because she'll be in NJ doing her residency weeks for her Masters). But if you hear of some lucky Walmart customer finding a pair of Jimmy Choos in the shoe section, you'll know I got my revenge on Nina but good.

Stay tuned...somehow I think this tour is going to be funny as hell.

Behind the Scenes with Femme Fantastik

2007-07-16T13:41:00.001-05:00

Not sure if this falls under the category of "Too Much Information" but take a look. Remember, despite what you see or hear, we are all talent authors with genius potential!

Join the Femmes in Austin, TX

2007-05-20T20:58:00.001-05:00

Halle a Femme Fantastik (Sort of)

2007-04-11T15:56:00.000-05:00

Halle Berry is set to go bald for new movie
By Bob Tourtellotte
Reuters

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Her beauty trumps many a starlet in youth-obsessed Hollywood, but Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry , at age 40, is preparing to go where few leading actresses would dare. Berry is going bald. The actress, whose roles include sexy secret agent Jinx in the James Bond flick "Die Another Day," is shaving her brunette locks for a new movie that could start shooting as soon as this summer, Berry told reporters late Wednesday.

"I'm going to shave my head bald. I can't believe it," she said. Berry will shed her hair for a romantic comedy she said is currently titled "Nappily Ever After." The star plays a woman whose hair is starting to fall out, so she decides to shave it all. Afterward, she must deal with people's perceptions of who she is and how her hair defined her. Berry said her character "is forced to look at what beauty is, and it comes from inside." "I still struggle with this hair issue," she said. "I'm going to get the lesson on film, and hopefully other women will get it, too." Her plan is to shave her real hair on film and not fake it by wearing a cap. But it will be more than a year before moviegoers will see Berry go bald because a new draft of "Nappily Ever After" was only recently completed.

"As I've gotten older, I've become more comfortable with who I really am -- all parts of me -- knowing that my physical self doesn't diminish me in any way, or my talent," she said. Nor, for that matter, does her hair.

PS Don Imus this does not make what you said in any way correct!

Okay, now what does this have to do with the headline that proclaims Halle as a Femme (sort of)? Well, Nappily Ever After was written by none other than, our Fantastik Femme, Trisha R. Thomas! If you haven't read this amazing book, run to find it before the sequel, Happily Married, comes out in June. And be sure you come out to see her this fall when we're on tour!

Fantastik New Authors for 2007-2008

2007-03-02T21:28:00.000-05:00

The Femme Fantastik Tour is back and better than ever. When last we spoke, the founding Femmes, Nina, Carmen and Lori, were all holed up in our respective offices working away on new books to bring to you this year. Well, we're finished and have done an awesome job, we might add. We've also added four new guest authors to this year's tour and you're absolutely going to love them. We're so happy they're joining us and we're looking forward to hitting the road together.

ReShonda Tate Billingsley joins the Femmes as our fourth permanent author. She is the bestselling author of several Inspirational books including, Let the Church Say Amen and I Know I've Been Changed. She also has a nonfiction book, Help!I've Turned Into My Mother, and launched a young adult series last year with Nothing But Drama and Blessings in Disguise. She's fast gaining on Carmen for most prolific Femme, though with 'only' eight books, she's still got a ways to go!

Guest author, Trisha R. Thomas, is the bestselling author of the books Nappily Ever After, Roadrunner, and Would I Lie To You? (she might try, just warning you now!). She's been nominated for an NAACP Image Award and the film rights to Nappily were optioned by Halle Berry. Her new book, Nappily Married, will be released in June.

Dr. Wendy Coakley-Thompson is the author of the popular novels, What You Won't Do For Love and Back to Life. She's also the host of the Book Squad, a radio show in Washington, D.C. You can listen by logging onto http://www.wmet1160.com/ on Fridays from 12-1:00 pm.

We're very excited to welcome Berta Platas, author of Cinderella Lopez and Friday Night Chicas to the tour. Berta gives the Femmes a little Latina flavor and is yet another shining example of how Fantastik women come in all shapes, colors and sizes. Nina and Lori are particularly happy to have another martini drinker on board!

The new Femme Fantastik Tour officially kicks off in September 2007 and will visit twelve military bases around the country. We'll also be planning signings and other Femme events in most of the cities we visit so listen out for the click, click, click of our stilettos when we hit your town this fall.

Happy Holidays!

2006-12-26T22:20:00.000-05:00

The Femme Fantastik Authors wish you a very happy and healthy holiday season. May all of you and your love ones close 2006 with warm memories and anticipate 2007 with joy in your eyes and love in your hearts. We'll see you soon.

Words from Nina Foxx/Live From Los Angeles

2006-10-10T12:57:00.000-05:00

Los Angeles and Burbank with The Femmes was fantastic. (Pun intended). It was great to be back in the saddle again. I'd missed my girls and didn't know how much. Carmen Green, Lori Bryant Woolridge and I were joined by guest authors Reshonda Tate Billingsley and Trisha Thomas. We spoke at a fundraiser organized by The Kindred Spirits book club. The charity was an IRS charity, one that gives sholarships to African Americans in order to get them interested in IRS careers. I mean, who knew that such a thing even existed?

I knew I have to blog about it eventually. Someone had to set the record straight, tell the folks the real deal. We arrived the night before for our Femme Board meeting, and ended up at the Tonight Show. Jay's head is bigger in person but he seemed like a nice guy. Calista Flockhart was a guest and she looked so stoned that even the other guests made fun of her. They film the show at about 3 in the afternoon in real time. We were done early and that's when we discovered a secret about LA. There are no damn cabs there. It was damn near impossible to hail a cab. It's just not done. It wasn't a New York kind of thing where they don't stop for Black Folks, there weren't stopping for anyone. There were a group of other women there too. We had to practially run our into traffic to make note of the numbers on the sides of the cars whizzing by, all from our out of town cell numbers. After a good hour, a cab showed up and the waiting white ladies turned it down, saying they hadn't called that compoany. We'd called three or four times so The Femmes and I jumped in, leaving them standing on Wilshire Blvd.

At the event the next day, we were joined by Trisha Thomas and Reshonda Tate Billingsley.
Lori opened up by telling everyone the story of how The Femme Fantastik came to be. They say a piture is worth a thousand words, so a moving picture must be worth a million. You know I love my girls but sometimes they get the story twisted, so I was prepared. I videoed it so you could get the story first hand.
Check out Lori:

And then I had the opportunity to tell the REAL story, how we really got together:
Be patient with this one, we had Carmen as Diretor of Photographer. The camera does eventually stop moving. And just to set the record straight, I do not eat only from a sippee cup.

And then of course, we had to follow up with Carmen Green, otherwise known as Mama Carmen. She had to lay down the wisdom rather than read from one of her 47 books.

Our guests were wonderful speakers. Trisha Thomas (Nappily Ever After) lamented the boobiliciousness of the Femmes. Yes, girl, a C cup or better is a requirement for membership. (Just kidding). Read Trisha's comments below.

And Reshonda Tate Billingsley (Help! I've turned into My Mother) added her own special brand of Arkansas-bred Humor. That girl is funny. If you haven't read her, run, do not walk to the bookstore.

Insights From Guest Author Trisha Thomas

2006-09-28T17:12:00.000-05:00

Now I know what the Femme Fantastik is really about. Boobs! Yes, I said it. Cleavage. I felt like the stepchild in this bunch of fabulous, amazing, down right beautiful women. I had the wonderful opportunity of joining them as a guest Femme at the Kindred Spirits Bookclub luncheon in Los Angeles this past Saturday and I must say Lori, Nina, and Carmen are doing the dang thang, spreading the word about their many best-selling novels and giving inspiration, advice and heart warming stories. Although when Lori read an excerpt from her short story in the Best Black Woman’s Erotica there was a lot of other warming going on too. Sizzling hot, and she’s such a nice girl, who would’ve thunk it. Now I know what to expect from her newest novel, Weapons of Mass Seduction…lots and lots of pelvis bumping though she calls it sensuality, umm humm.

As for Nina, she read from her latest novel Just Short of Crazy, giving a taste of why she’s become the queen of fierce, fabulous, female heroines who know how to take a man to the mat. Tae Kwan do, get your mind out of the gutter. That’s one way to make him behave. Her next book is called No One Needs A Husband Seven Days A Week, okay, to the mat with you.

My turn, taking my limit of ten-to-fifteen minutes to speak literally. I brought a typed excerpt from my new book Nappily Married, but Carmen yelled at me, so I winged it. No one knows how scary it is at a podium with all eyes fixed on you until you’re the one standing there. I looked out and saw the kindest most receptive group of women, and a few menfolk sprinkled about and let loose knowing I was safe to speak my mind. Hair matters, my favorite topic, and now boobs. Yes, I have a few anger issues. Nina suggested a good plastic surgeon although hers are au naturel. How bout, I just write about it. Boob Envy: Making Lemonade From Undersized Limes. Yeah, that’s it, small double A’s of the world unite.

Carmen, with twenty novels under her belt, she’s telling it like it is. Get off your butts and fulfill your dreams, stop your whining and make life happen, don’t let it happen to you! Yep, I feel you girl. She’d planned to read from her newest novel, What A Fool Believes, but the one copy she had went missing. Carmen got back to the table and saw Reshonda had been reading the novel innocently not knowing she was holding Carmen’s only copy. That was funny, no really, Carmen had steam coming out her ears and if evil eyes had exacting Laser rays, Reshonda would’ve been a puff of smoke.

Last but not least was Reshonda Tate Billingsley, also a guest Femme but girlfriend fit right in with the Femme Fantastik. Nice boobs. Dressed to the nines she flashed her gorgeous smile and put it on the audience and left them bowled over with laughter reading from, Help, I’ve Turned Into My Mother. No one left there without ordering a copy.

I must say, if I get another call from the Femme Fantastiks, I won’t hesitate to drive, fly, or dare I say walk the distance, because I came away feeling high on life, assured that you get what you give and while things may not be easy, one thing is for sure, I AM FANTASTIK! What a day with some amazing writers, innovators, and all around kind enriching spirits.

Thank you, ladies. I had a ball.

2006-09-05T19:12:00.000-05:00

Kindred Spirits Book Club
Presents
The Femme Fantastik Tour

Saturday, September 23, 2006
2:00 to 5:00 PM
Hilton Burbank Airport
2500 N Hollywood Way
Burbank, CA 91505
Phone: (818) 843-6000

$35 donation per person - book included
a portion of proceeds will benefit the
AIM-IRS Los Angeles Chapter
The Bobby S. Wyche Scholarship Fund

For tickets please mail check or postal money order made payable to
"Kindred Spirits Book Club"
along with a self-addressed stamped envelope to:

Kindred Spirits Book Club
Attention: Femme Fantastik Tour
11024 Balboa Blvd #634
Granada Hills, CA 91344-5007
**Ticker orders must be received by September 10, 2006**

Where You Been?

2006-06-04T07:31:00.000-05:00

We know it's been a long time since you've heard from us, and many of you have been asking where we've disappeared to. We're glad you miss us. We miss you too!

The easy answer to that question is that since having to postpone the M.E.N.K. & Pearls Getaway, the Femmes have been crazy busy. Carmen and Lori have been holed up editing and writing new books. And Nina, well, Nina has been tearing it up out there! Here's what's doing.

Nina is a nonstop writing, promoting, business, mommy machine. When we last left Ms. Foxx, she was promoting her newest book, Marrying Up. Well, that book was made into a stage play and toured several cities to audience delight. All the while, Nina was writing and her new book, Just Short of Crazy, will be released in June. It's a fun story about a woman just trying to keep her sanity and deal with a break-up, a new man and his crazy ex-wife, a "hands-on" boss and a couple of wacky cousins. As always, Nina's wit and humor comes shining through. She's also about to begin her tour for Just Short and move to a new city later this summer.

Carmen finished writing and editing her new book, What A Fool Believes. It's about a woman who is forced to attend anger management classes following her break up from a no're do well fiance. It's very comical and of course poignant and one of the best books Carmen has written. It's due out this August so look for it and pick it up. She's also promoting her anthologies Indecent Exposure and A Day in Mossy Creek. In 2007, we will be celebrating the release of Carmen's 20th book, so get ready for some fun with our most prolific Femme.

(Why do I have to follow Carmen? It's bad enough Nina is already on her fifth or sixth book but I have to come after Ms. 20 books? Okay, Femme Fans, the truth is Carmen has been out of sight all year due to major plastic surgery. Look closely at her new photo for book number 20! Carmen, Halle, Angelina and Vivica called. They want their nose, lips and boobs back!)

Okay enough playa-hatin'. This year, Lori has been underground writing very hard trying to catch up with her fellow Femmes. She's finishing up her third novel, Weapons of Mass Seduction, which tells the sexy story of three woman who meet in a flirting workshop designed to unearth their inner bombshell and how their newfound skills ultimately affect their lives. It's part flirt manual, part novel and all good! Look for Weapons in summer 2007.

The Femmes only appearance together this year will be in the Los Angeles area on September 23 at the Burbank Hilton Hotel. We are being hosted by the Kindred Spirits Book Club and are looking forward to spending a Fantastik afternoon with them and their friends. More on that later.

So that's what we've been up to. The Femme Fantastik Tour will be hitting the road again in 2007 with new projects, new authors and a new attitude (and of course, Nina will have a new pair of shoes!) We will also reschedule the M.E.N.K. & Pearls Getaway. We promise! We just couldn't find a date in 2006 that worked with everyone's schedules.

So, see you soon and stay Fantastik!

M.E.N.K. & Pearls Retreat Postponed

2006-03-07T08:50:00.000-05:00

We're so disappointed! We were so looking forward to gathering with some other fantastic women and just relaxing and sharing good energy. And things were shaping up so well. The early response was encouraging, a mix from women across the country looking to do the same.

Unfortunately we just couldn't get the hotel to cooperate in the manner in which we thought they should. Who ever heard of hotdogs served at a fabulous Goddess Dinner? See what we're saying?

So due to some unresolvable contract issues (and obvious menu differences), we are forced to postpone the M.E.N.K. & Pearls getaway until we can find a more fabulous venue on a date that works with all of our schedules.

We'll keep you informed when we work out all the particulars. Until then, stay fantastik!

Find Out How Fantastik You Really Are

2005-12-27T17:52:00.000-05:00

M.E.N.K. & Pearls Getaway Retreat, April 21-23, 2006 Moody Gardens Hotel and Spa

Join the Femme authors and our special guest, ReShonda Tate Billingsley, as we embrace the M.E.N.K. mentality during a relaxing weekend of female bonding and Fantastik fun. From meditative walks to thought-provoking workshops to our smashing Goddess dinner, we've got your mind, body and soul covered. We’ll talk, we’ll laugh. We might even shed a tear or two. But when we leave, we’ll do so even more Fantastik than when we arrived!

Pearls of Wisdom Workshops include:

* Sensual Woman, Sexy Mama * Living Your Life Like It’s Golden * Help! I’ve Turned into My
Mother * A Lover is a Man…Yet Another Reason To Love Yourself*

You’ll enjoy four diamond accommodations, including one king or two queen size beds in each fully equipped room, with a variety of panoramic views. The Spa offers an extensive menu of relaxing and luxurious treatments and let’s not forget the beach and a host of other nearby attractions.

At A Femme Fantastik Getaway, Expect The Unexpected!

For more information on this exclusive getaway weekend, send us your contact information to menk.pearls@yahoo.com. Space is limited so act now. You won't want to miss the event that will have everyone talking!

Early Registration Fee: $199.00 (Includes Author Appearances, most meals, Pearls of Wisdom workshops, Goddess Dinner, autographed Femme Fantastik tote bag, special gifts).

Accommodations: $149.00 per night, based on double occupancy.

A Fond Femme Farewell

2005-12-12T18:05:00.000-05:00

Seasons Greetings!

As most of you know, the three of us, Victoria Christopher Murray, Jacquelin Thomas, and Marissa Monteilh, are no longer members of the Femme Fantastik group, but we wanted to personally thank those readers, organizers, bookclubs, bookstores, and last but not least, the military bases and cherished troops who were so supportive during our 2005 tour.

As the year comes to a close, we want you to know that we are extremely grateful for your constant support, and we want to ask that you check our websites from time to time to view information regarding our respective news and updates, as each of us have new and exciting titles coming out next year.

Please log on to our individual sites to view upcoming titles and tour dates.

www.MarissaMonteilh.com

www.JacquelinThomas.com

www.VictoriaChristopherMurray.com

We wish the remaining Femme members much success with their 2006 events and beyond, and we cheer them on, along with each of you, as the group continues to grow in grand and phenomenal ways.

Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year to you all!

Blessings,

Jacquelin, Marissa, and Victoria

The Tour Says Good-bye to Three Great Writers

2005-12-05T11:43:00.000-05:00

As with everything in this world, both great and small, change must come. The Femme Fantastik Tour is saying good-bye to three wonderful authors--Victoria Christopher Murray, Marissa Monteilh and Jacquelin Thomas. We want to extend to them our warmest and most sincere "thank you" for making the inaugural year of the Femme Fantastik Tour such an amazing one. They have been consummate professionals and better yet, supportive friends and colleagues. We all had a great deal of fun together his past year and we wish them all the best in the future and know our paths will cross again. We hope as the Tour moves forward, you will continue to support these truly gifted writers.

You've been hearing from the Femme Fantastik Tour about our upcoming events in 2006--our M.E.N.K. & Pearls Getaway Retreat in the spring and Femme U Writers Workshops in the fall, please be aware that Victoria, Marissa and Jacquelin will not be participating. Later next year we will announce our new list of exciting authors who will join the Femme Fantastik Tour 2007.

Again, thank you to Marissa, Jacquie and Victoria for being such fantastic members of the Femme Fantastik Tour 2005.

Nina Foxx, Lori Bryant-Woolridge, Carmen Green

Happy Holidays from the Femme Fantastik Authors

2005-12-03T22:48:00.000-05:00

We'd like to thank everyone--from our wonderful military personnel and their families, to booksellers, groups and guest authors for all the love and support they showered us with in 2005. We really had a great time meeting so many new people as we traveled the country.

While we won't be touring next year, you'll still be hearing from and about us. Watch for information on our first M.E.N.K. & Pearls Getaway Retreat in April 2006. We're nailing down all the particulars but believe us, it will be one FANTASTIK weekend of sisterhood, sensuality and spa services for readers and authors alike. Think sunsets on the beach, interesting and thought-provoking workshops, luxurious spa treatments and our first Goddess Dinner. We've got your mind, body and spirit covered. Check back here for more information after the new year or if you want to make sure you don't miss this amazing getaway, email us at menk.pearls@yahoo.com and we'll put you on our mailing list. Check out our very early posts to learn what the letters M.E.N.K. stand for!

In the Fall, Femme U will be in session with workshops for aspiring and self-published authors. Clinics will include everything from the basics of good writing and story development to keeping your writer's head together to ways to promote you and your book. And we'll have plenty of chat time so we can confer about the business, its trends, possibilities and pitfalls.

In between we'll be visiting various organizations and book clubs, like Kindred Spirits in Los Angeles, helping them raise money for their good causes. We are currently booking appearances for 2006 (only a few slots left) and our new and improved tour in 2007. If you, your organization or book club would like to host the Femme Fantastik Tour, please contact us at fantastiktour@yahoo.com

Please, everyone have a safe and loving holiday season. And in all the frenzy of the season take a minute everyday to thank God for making YOU so fantastic.

An Evening with the (Crazy) Authors

2005-11-19T14:17:00.000-05:00

We've written about the bootleg limo ride and even my unfortunate allergic reaction (thank you, Carmen, for taking such good care of me and Nina for not mentioning the size of my lips--can you say 'Hitch'). Now let's get into the reason we were in Los Angeles. This is going to be straight no chaser. Just the facts. We'll follow up with the "real deal" stories later.

The lovely sorors of Delta Sigma Theta's Pomona Valley Chapter booked us as literary entertainment for a fundraising dinner to benefit their scholarship programs. The Femmes, believing strongly in the concept of doing well by doing good, happily agreed to participate. And entertainment is surely what they got.

The event was well attended, over 250 strong. They even had to open an overflow room. Each of the four Femmes (Jacquie and Victoria were unable to join us) was seated in different areas of the room. It was a great set up because we were able to mingle among the guests instead of being stuck all night at a head table. With all those Delta's decked out in their crimson and cream, it was the red sea up in the Jazz Cafe! And all evening the atmosphere was warm and festive and definitely upbeat.

Maleta Wilson, a member of Delta Sigma Theta and owner of Heritage Bookstore and More really worked hard with the rest of her committee to pull this event off. It was a smashing success and we appreciated the love and support that was displayed.

Stay tuned for more on Miss Margaret's fainting spell, an autograph for Mr. Chocolate Thunder Down Under, the lady in the OFR who was appalled to learn that alcohol had touched the Femme Fantastik Author's lips, and how unbeknownst to any of us, with no planning or foresight, the entire evening took on a very sexual theme. It was a night to remember.

The Real Deal

2005-11-16T11:12:00.000-05:00

Sigh. Leave it to the guest bloggers to tell a skewed story. You knew I would tell you the real deal about the Femme Fantastik in LA. First of all, I am most certainly not going to rehash the limosine story. All I have to say about that is that they should have known things would be a little "special" if they traveled with me. Hell, I was one the one who floated down the road in Houston and ate dinner while a woman shook her parts over me in Atlanta. Obviously they didn't read my blog.
Anyway, for those of you who asked, yes, I did wear Coach shoes, clogs actually. They were VINTAGE (fashion code for about two years old). They are my comfy travel shoes and quite good looking. I am an equal opportunity shoeshionista.
The real fun began after the no-neck-turning limo man left us at our hotel.
Of course we were hungry. No one really gets food on airplanes anymore and I refuse to eat another SouthWest peanut, so we headed to one of our hotel's restaurants. The plan was we were going to eat, catch up and have a little Femme Meeting about what we planned to do next year. The girls made fun of me and my luggage and shoes, of course, and that kind of sidetracked us a bit, but if your friends don't make fun of your impeccable taste and obvious style, then who will? (Can anyone say "Don't hate"!) You know they ran right out to the luggage outlet and tried to be just as stylish. Here's a note, ladies, either you have it, or you don't. Nothing but love, nothing but love. ;-)
Okay, the meeting was going just fine until Lori ran into a small problem. We got to the part about how much things would cost and Lori started scratching like a crack addict. UGLY! Her eyes got puffy and her lips swelled up like the puffer fish driver instructor on Sponge Bob. At first I thought she was uncomfortable talking about the cash, but then she spoke up.
"I think I am having an allergic reaction to something."
(No? Really?) "You aren't going to cardiac arrest or anything are you?" I asked.
She assured me she wasn't, so Carmen and I then laughed appropriately.
Meeting adjourned. We spirited Miss Thing to the room. All the way there she was walking and trying to rub her thighs together so they could scratch each other with minimal effort. Clothes flew all aover the room as she stripped naked. I was blind for two days.
Nurse Carmen took over then. If I am going to be sick, I want to be sick around her. She is the most nurturing person I know that I am not related too. That woman is a walking over-the-counter medicine cabinet. She dug in her magic bag (not designer, but perfectly useful) and came up with the appropriate remedies for what ailed Lori. She even put old compresses on her legs and arms to help quell the itching. I would have never thought of that, opting instead to tell her to rub, instead of scratch.
Lori laid up on the bed and soaked up the attention. I was itching too and my eyes were red, but I didn't feel the need to be the center of attention. I wanted Lori to enjoy the limelight while she could. Besides, I didn't want to alarm her. I wasn't swelling, and hoped I wasn't going to. She was one strange site. All I could think of was that we were going to have to go up on stage the next night and speak in front of 200+ peoeple. I hoped for Lori's sake that Carmen really could cure her problem. She was starting to not look like herself.
Well, sure enough, the danger passed and we could all breathe easy. But then we found we had another problem.
Our room was haunted by a jackhammer from building past.
No, seriously.
There was some loud noise that sounded like a jackhammer that went on all through the night. And the longest train whistle in history.
About three AM I screamed out, "Does no one else hear that?"
Of course Lori didn't. She was drugged up.
Carmen on the other hand is somewhat akin to the Princess (you know, the one of Princess and the Pea fame) as am I, so we had late night/early morning discussions about the benefits of Pilates.
The racket never did subside, so in the morning, we ran screaming from our rooms and demanded a quieter spot to lay our heads. I almost lost it when the man at the desk laughed when I tried to tell him the benefits of beauty sleep before a speaking engagement. He obviously didn't undertsand the perils. I know I look like Oprah without her makeup if I don't get my quality sleep.
Okay, that is it. Mine is true, just ignore the other two. Oh, and of course, pics are on the Femme Blog and my website, www.ninafoxx.com.

Bootleg Limousine Ride

2005-11-15T11:28:00.000-05:00

The thing about being a Femme Fantastik Author is that anything goes. You can't do something and get away with it when you have the wittiest women in the world together. We are going to notice and we are going to talk about you. Let me describe to you our bootleg (to the fifth power) ride from the airport.

I arrived in LA and went in search of Nina in baggage claim. Why did I find her sitting down and not with the promised limo driver? I was so excited, I hugged her and then asked, where was the driver.

She replied, "Right there, don't look."

Come on now. Don't tell me not to look at something. I'm peeping everything. I'm a black suburban woman who doesn't get to see much in Duluth, Ga, so I looked, and didn't see a thing.
I was like, ok then. I told her I was going to get my luggage and to wait for me.

I walked through the doors and waited at the wrong carousal for my bags. Just as I began to lament America West, a man came up to me and said "Ms. Foxx sent me in here to help you."

I looked at him and thought this is a scam. He's gone steal my bags and then I'm gone be funky and in my stretchy, fat traveling pants for the signing. Damn. No way was he a limo driver. He had on baggy jeans, Timberland boots and a long shirt. Did I mention he couldn't turn his neck to the left? Whatever, I don't care. He didn't look like a limo driver. Plus, he had a four year old next to him. He was about to rob me with a luggage cart and a kid. Damn.

Then I noticed that he had a sign with him. Why was it handwritten? Why was Nina's name scratched out? Why was there a jagged scratch through the beginning of my name and apparently the pen ran out, so little stabs through the last part? Why was Lori's last name spelled wrong and because it was long, printed down the side of the cardboard?
Where the hell was Nina? And why the hell wasn't she with him? Oh, right, he was bootleg and so she sent him to help me. I made a promise to kick Nina's tail later.

Okay, so we get my luggage and I immediately put my sneakers on. If I have to run after you because you really are a thief, I was going to do it in my Nike’s so I could use my traveling shoes to throw at the back of your head. Whatever, I’m from Buffalo. Nobody said we fight fair.

So after we get our bags loaded on the cart, we exit the terminal and stop. Call me a diva, but I was kind of expecting the car to be like, right there. The driver, kid and our bags keep walking toward the parking garage. Nina, in her Coach shoes, and I are standing at the curb, looking stupefied. Even the cop looked at us funny. I stupidly ask him, “Where’s the limo?”

He looks at me next to the Grand Dame of the airport, Nina, and said, “Ion know.” Translation, “I don’t know and what the hell you asking me for? You need to be following that man with your bags, fake a-- diva.”

No lookin’ left driver yells over his shoulder, “I’m in here”—meaning the parking garage. We scamper across the road feeling just a little dumb. At the end of a long row, we see the limo, parked in between civilian cars. Can we all say bootleg together?

Nina and I stand there, our diva status obliterated by car exhaust fumes, and I get ready to throw my bags in the trunk. At this point, if he told me I’d have to ride a bike to the hotel, I’d have believed him. Driver looks at me unloading the cart and says, “I got this.”
I think hell naw. I’m watching my bags go in. No offense, but inside I have two Alfani shirts I got on sale at Macy’s and well, I want them. He raises the trunk, and can I just ask for the chorus to say bootleg together right now?

This trunk is so full of tires, I don’t know how he closed it in the first place. Now, as you’ve learned from previous blogs, I’m a regular ole’ girl from the hood. My suitcases came as a set of four for $89.99 with a box of 48 freezy pops and a $5 calling card. Nina’s bags cost more than the entire limo. She wasn't hav'n it. Quite frankly, I thought she was going to levitate.

I’m thinking that ain’t gone work. Needless to say my busted up stuff went into the trunk. I don’t care. That’s why you buy cheap bags.

Nina and I climb in the back seat—with her suitcases and laugh our butts off. We’re both thinking the blog is going to be off the chain.

We pull out and then our driver taps a truck. I just shake my head. Damn, now I’m a witness. Lucky for him, there was no damage, but I do have to direct him out. What the hell, I thought. If I didn’t, we’d never get Lori and never get to the signing the next day. We’d be there until my next birthday shouting, “Pull up. Cut the wheel! Turn, up again, cut! Damn, you tapped him again. Pull up.”

We drive over to Continental and he gets out with the kid to go get Lori and realizes he got a ticket. I suppose the limo couldn’t fake as an ordinary sedan. For the longest time, he stood there and I begin to feel sorry for him. Nina does not.

The whole time she’s laughing, typing on her crackberry, (her blackberry), eyeing the parking lot because we know Lori and her smart mouth is going to have something to say.

Lori gets in the car and we start up again. Well, after he shoved her luggage inside, we die laughing. Definitely bootleg. There’s more luggage than people. Our knees are up to our throats and we’re laughing like crazy. I was just glad nobody had gas.

We get on the road and we put the privacy window up, but we didn’t know it was broke and wouldn’t ever come down again. At this point, it’s so funny, we have to talk about it. There’s no way we can make it the whole ride and not. Lori was in rare form. She was just glad none of the white passengers on her flight saw her and the infamous note card bearing her name.

The ride was uneventful, except for the part when No lookin’ left didn’t see traffic merging on the left and slammed on the brakes so hard, Lori slid the length of the limo on the seat. Now that was funny and way beyond bootleg.

Luckily for us, we made it to the hotel in one piece and when I got back to Atlanta and my son brought my bags inside, he only asked me once why there was permanent tire tread marks on my bag.

Carmen Green
I tell stories for a living.

Marissa at the LA Event

2005-11-14T17:57:00.000-05:00

With Joan of Jazzypen.com Book Reviews

True Celebrity is Just A Limo Ride Away

2005-11-13T15:57:00.000-05:00

"We're sending a car." Sweet words to every mid-list author's ears.

Before the story begins, let's be clear about why ground transportation is such a desirable perk. For A-List authors, your E. Lynns, Terrys, Erics, Grishams, Pattersons, Tans, a sleek, shiny, limo waiting to pick them up at the airport and whisk them off to their scheduled events is a given. Doesn't matter if they are on official book tour or doing some other event in between releases. A car and driver is part of the package (you know, the requisite big All-5 package--five figure honorarium, five star hotel, etc).

On the other hand... for fabulous, up-and-coming authors (like the Femmes), after the official, publisher sponsored, book tour is over, we're pretty much on our own when it comes to most promotional appearances. So when some event planner tells you they're sending a car to meet you at the airport, it's all good. Like 'abracadabra', those four little words have the magic ability to transform you from a worn out soccer mom, whose refrigerator is empty and laundry room is overflowing (am I ruining the glamorous image you have of us authors?), into the diva, celebrity author you become once you strip off the sweats and sneakers, pull on your pencil skirt and power shoes (usually stilettos), pack up your bookmarks and strut down the jetway on your way to Audienceville.

And can I tell you, hopping on that airplane knowing that a limo is waiting for you on the other side, changes a sistah. Quick! Somebody hand me some very dark and oversized sunglasses. And while you're at it, toss me a bottle of Evian and some M & M's. Green only please.

But there are levels of celebrity to be sure. And you know just how big you are (or not) by the little things...the fine details that tell you just where your name falls (or not) on the "list."

The organizers of the final Femme event for 2005, the wonderful ladies of Delta Sigma Theta, thoughtfully sent a stretch limo to pick Nina, Carmen, and me from the airport. (Note: to their credit, this was the first time they'd used this company and were more upset over the service than we were.) We all arranged to arrive at LAX within an hour of each other. Nina and Carmen were the first to be picked up and then they proceeded on to Terminal 6 to get me.

Everything had gone like clockwork on my flight so within 20 minutes of landing I had my luggage and was waiting outside where all of the other limos were parked. Okay, I'll be honest, I was kind of hoping that the white folks I'd spent the last five hours talking to would see my celebrity behind climb into my stretch and zip off to my next fabulous event, but there was no snappily dressed chauffeur with my name neatly printed on a sign there to greet me. So after five minutes or so, I called Carmen to find out if they'd been delayed.

"Where are you guys?"

"In the garage, " Carmen answered. "The driver is coming in to meet you."

I didn't get a chance to inquire as to why they weren't outside the terminal where all the other limo drivers were waiting for their celebrities because she had more info to impart.

"He's got a sign with your name on it. And there's a little girl with a black sweatsuit on with him," Carmen volunteered very matter-of-factly.

Okay, the sign I understood, but little girl?

"And uh, Lori, he can only move his neck one way."

I let that one breeze by.

"I think I see him," I told her. And yes, there stood a tall brotha wearing baggy jeans hanging down his backside, the legs pooling around the tops of his bright, white sneakers, holding what appeared to be the Soul Train Scrabble Board. Through the jumble of letters I could make out enough letters in my name, but even if I was unsure, the cute, little girl in the black sweatsuit was a dead giveaway. They were like the urban version of Mr. Rourke and Tattoo, the greeting committee on Fantasy Island.

He stiffly craned his neck around to the right as he mumbled my name. Quick somebody get me my sunglasses! The bling from his 56 carat 'diamond' stud is blinding me. As he grabbed my luggage, I did a quick look around. Whew. Thank God, the white folks were no where to be found! I didn't need an audience watching as I dropped down a couple of notches on the celebrity scale.

We walked to what seemed like the next state (hello, somehow I don't think Angelina Jolie has to put on hiking boots and break a sweat to find her car. And if by some chance she did, I doubt she'd have to see her driver's underwear the entire trip) and finally stopped in front of a sleek, shiny black stretch limo. I waited for him to put my luggage into the trunk but instead, Brothaman opened the door and threw my suitcase on to the pile of Nina and Carmen's that filled up the available floor space. Just happy to see my girls after such a long time, I climbed in and sat on the long seat and we greeted each other like long lost sisters.

"Nina the rest of your shoes must be taking up all the trunk space," I teased as we drove through the garage, one leg resting on top of her shoe bag the other stuffed between Carmen's large and extra large, black bags. Damn ladies, we're only in town for two days!

"No girl, there were too many tires in the trunk to fit any luggage." We all cracked up.

"Why are you all sitting in the garage? And why did I have to hike fifteen miles to get to my LIMO?" I asked with with mock indignation.

"Well, I don't think he has a permit to work the airport," Carmen offered. "He got a ticket while he was waiting for us." Again, we erupted in gales of laughter. "I think this is a bootleg limo service."

Yah think?

"Nina, turn on the radio so he can't hear us." I suggested. I figured we should at least be respectful as we talked about the guy.

"Can't. It doesn't work."

"Well then, turn on the TV."

"Can't. It doesn't work either. Just static," she said as she found the button to raise the divider. After a few hopeful grinding noises it went up, separating us from folks in the front seat.

"I bet the sh*t in Terry's limo would work," Carmen added.

"Yeah, but more importantly, I bet her limo driver would be able to see what's coming in both directions!"

"And wouldn't need a six-year old to help him navigate. I think we're lost," Carmen said looking out the window.

"I'm thirsty." I said eyeing the highball glasses and champagne flutes nesting across the opposite side of the car.

"Well unless you're up for drinking napkins or have your own water bottle you're out of luck."

"That's the difference between A list and the C list," I sighed. "But at least they sent a car. And even a jacked up limo with a trunk full of tires is better than taking one of those shuttle buses that stops at every hotel between here and east where you goin."

I can't tell you their response because just as the words left my parched mouth I, along with my handbag, sweater and the luggage, went flying across the seat like a shot of bourbon across the bar. Carmen quickly grabbed my ankles to keep me from banging my head on the front wall.

"Guess something must have come at him from the left side," Nina suggested with her usual deadpan delivery. The three of us just busted out in continuous waves of giggles.

A few miles later after another abrupt stop, which once again jolted me across the car and caused the contents of my purse to spill all over the floor, Carmen decided to trade places so I could put on the seat belt and stay put for the rest of the ride.

Taking it all in stride, we continued laughing off and on until we pulled into the hotel. We scurried to pick up the belongings that had scattered across the car during the hurly burly ride and get ourselves together for our grand arrival.

When Brotherman opened the door, we were all back in D.I.V.A. (Determined, Intelligent, Vibrant, Author) mode. Three fabulous women stepped from the car, hair coiffed, makeup flawless, sunglasses in place. We had our celebrity images to think of. Who knew if the paparazzi had been alerted!

Forget the ghetto fabulous driver, the for-show-only bar setup, the busted radio and television, we had arrived in style. And as we sashayed across the empty drive way and into an empty lobby, there wasn't a soul who could tell us that we weren't on the A list. And for the time it took us to check in and get to our room (where we realized that we were right next to the very noisy ice maker and the phone on the desk didn't work) we believed it ourselves.

More Pix

2005-11-11T15:49:00.000-05:00

Pat, Lori and Nina at the After Party

Pictures From LA Sign & Dine sponsored by Delta Sigma Theta and Heritage Bookstore in Ontario, CA

2005-11-11T15:44:00.000-05:00

Nina & Carmen & Lori Nina with Mizz Margaret. There's a story here.

Join Us For Dinner

2005-10-17T09:05:00.000-05:00

It's our last official event in 2005. So if you live in the Los Angeles area, please join us for an "Evening With the Authors" hosted by the local graduate chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. There will be cocktails and dinner and a reading and signing by each of the attending Femme Fantastik Authors, plus our special guest author, Travis Hunter.

When: Sunday, November 6, 2005, 5:00 - 7:00 pm
Where: The Jazz Cafe
1133 West Sixth Street
Ontario, California 91762

For Tickets and more information call 909.484.8411
Books will be sold by Heritage Bookstore and More

We guarantee a great time! So bring your book club, your friends, your mama, and join the Femmes as we wrap our first successful year of touring together!

DC Pictures

2005-10-13T13:35:00.000-05:00

Better Late Than Never...Our D.C. Report

2005-10-09T16:19:00.000-05:00

Whew!! It's been a minute since we've posted, but it's taken that long to catch our breath. The Femme's had a great time in the Washington, D.C. area, the last stop on our 2005 military base tour. We did the town, that's for sure. Big shout out to B. Dalton's Books in Union Station, Roderick at the Voice of America, all the folks who turned out to see and support us at Fort Meade, Andrews Airforce Base and Fort Belvoir. Many thanks and big hug to guest author, Chris Chamber who joined us in Fort Belvoir. He was a delight to share the event with, despite his bold Hawaiian shirt. But don't let his questionable taste in attire deter you from checking out his work. The boy can write! Check him out at www.chrischambersbooks.com

We have to give special love to Femme author, Victoria Christopher Murray, who recently lost her beloved father and decided to join us anyway. It was a tough decision, but the love from both fans and the rest of the Femmes was a great boost. We constantly have her in our thoughts and ask that you will too.

Jacquelin Thomas was a trooper as well, suffering a flat tire on the way to Fort Meade and missing most of the signing. But here's how beloved she is. She arrived to find several fans who waited nearly two hours for her to sign their books! Now that's love!

I have to say our Voice of America interview was crazy and fun. Marissa and Carmen cut up on the air as usual, and still managed to relay all the pertinent information. If you haven't had the great opportunity to check these amazing women out, please run the the next signing they have. Check out their websites and catch them in action. You won't be disappointed.

These two also turned out the B. Dalton's signing. They both had quite the fan club hanging out at the signing table. I do recall a very nice and attentive gentleman offering to give Carmen a ride around the mall in his wheelchair. I can't remember if she accepted :-). Though I do remember him waiting outside the restaurant later after dinner--several hours later, I might add. Carmen has her fans!

I wish everyone could have as much fun as we do on the road together. We posted some pictures for you. We apologize for the quality but they were taken with Marissa's, as she put it, 'ghetto' camera.

We missed Nina on this trip. She was doing the mom thing back in Texas and couldn't join us. We missed her wry sense of humor and her quiet commentary on all the happenings.

Well that's all for now. We'll be back soon to post information on the November event in Ontario, California. The Pomona Valley Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta is sponsoring "An Evening With The Authors" featuring The Femme Fantastik Tour with special guest Travis Hunter. More on that later.

DC Pictures

2005-10-01T13:34:00.000-05:00

These are all fromMarissa's Camera. What was the deal with it anyway?

DC Pictures

2005-10-01T13:32:00.000-05:00

Notes from MM

2005-09-01T18:48:00.000-05:00

What I know:

I know that Carmen will surely find some hidden books - Carmen's on the case . . . and she's got a man!

I know that Lori sold a lot of books, with or without that top she wore on Sunday.

Jacquie and Victoria, I know you and Victoria had that signing at Reprint without us.

:-)

So we're done with the military end for '05. We did it! I had fun.

2005-08-02T11:34:00.000-05:00

Bervely Jenkins,Kayla Perrin and other authors and readers at RWA National

2005-08-02T11:32:00.000-05:00

At RWA National Conference, Rita Ewing

2005-08-02T11:30:00.000-05:00

Rita Ewing, Beverly Jenkins, Kayla Perrin, Francis Ray and other Authors at RWA National Conference

Femme Calendar

2005-07-27T15:54:00.000-05:00

It's almost time to get back on the road for the final swing of our 2005 tour of military bases. Last but not least, the Femme Fantastik Tour travels to the Washington, D.C. area. Take a look and if you can make it by, please do! The events at Reprint and B. Dalton are open to the public, so come by and say hello.

Friday, August 26
12:30-1:30
Reprint Bookshop
455 LeFant Plaza SW
Washington, DC

4:30-6:30
B. Dalton Books
Union Station
50 Massachusetts Ave. NE
Washington, DC

Saturday, August 27
11:00-1:00
Fort Meade
Post Exchange
Laurel, MD

3:00-5:00
Andrews Airforce Base
Post Exchange
Camp Springs, MD

Sunday, August 28
2:00-4:00
Fort Belvoir
Post Exchange
Virginia

The Fantastik Buzz

2005-06-09T08:47:00.000-05:00

"The Femme Fantastik tour was one of the biggest book signing events we have ever had at Fort Bragg! The ladies of Femme Fantastik made a huge impact within our community and our customers, who are active military and family members, truly enjoyed meeting these terrific ladies in person. The response to the signing was actually so great that we have now put an entire African-American book section into our book department featuring books written by the Femme Fantastik authors and other best-selling African-American authors. We look forward to hosting any of the Femme Fantastik authors at Fort Bragg in the future, as part of the tour or as individuals, they are top notch!"

Jason Rosenberg, Manager, Main Store
Fort Bragg Post Exchange, North Post

"Meeting authors on the Femme Fantastik tour was a great experience. It was really nice to put a name and face with the books that I have been reading. I think visiting the military installations is an excellent idea and a real morale boost for the troops and their families. It meant a lot to me that these authors were interested in meeting with the military community. I want to say "Thank You" and "God Bless" to all of Femme Fantastik authors who are traveling to add a little spice to our lives."

Melody L. Clarke
Joint Logistics Managers Functional Analyst
Fort Bragg, NC

"However the Femme Fantastik Tour was born, you all were meant to be together. Thank you for making the Sistahs Book Club anniversary most memorable and special. It was wonderful, and everyone is still talking about you four ladies. The Sistahs just loved you all. The men had as much fun as we did. Wanda's husband doesn't even read, but he was back there laughing the loudest and stayed around until it was over. He's never done that. We are still talking about what an awesome weekend it was. It wouldn't have been so without you all. You guys are the real deal, and I love you for it. You are welcome anytime. And when I grow up, maybe I can join."

Suzetta Perkins
Sistahs Book Club
Fayetteville, NC

Need a Fantastik Fix

2005-06-06T09:55:00.000-05:00

The Femmes are on a short summer break before we reunite in late August to tour several more military bases in the Washington, D.C. area. It's been a month since we've all been together and I have to tell you, I miss my girls!

I miss Nina and her fantastik 'foxiness'. The girl is aptly named. The woman is crazy like a Foxx. She's a quiet mystery that makes you wonder what's filling those Jimmy Choo's (okay they could be Manolo's). It's hard to categorize her as quiet, though she doesn't say a lot, but when she does you can bet it will be right on point. She's not a jokester and yet you can count on her to come up with some mischievous plot behind the scenes to stir things up and get us giggling. In getting to know her, I've come to admire Nina's quiet ambition, her quick wit and 'let's do it' attitude.

Now I know we throw the word 'diva' around a lot in these reports but Victoria is the diva of the best kind. Behind her Chanel, rhinestone-studded sunglasses is a mega-author in the making and she knows it. But there is no arrogance attached to this bold knowledge only the desire to make sure that as she rises all her girls rise right along with her. Her attitude is always positive, her words kind and encouraging and while she's taking with one hand; she's giving with the other.

I miss Carmen and her crazy sense of humor and sweet vulnerability. What I admire most about Carmen is that despite her prolific publishing record, she's hungry to move higher and push herself farther and to do that she's not afraid to ask for help. Publishing is a very competitive business, one that is built on very fragile perceptions, and it is rare that an author of Carmen's experience and past success is brave enough to step outside the genre where she's been mega-successful and ask for help with breaking into another. Rarer still is the wide-open support by the Femmes to help her do just that. Carmen teases about being the Wal-Mart woman among all the designer divas, but this girl is mega rich in areas where most women are downright poverty stricken.

Getting to know Jacquelin is like coming face-to-face with the stereotypical description of genteel, Southern Belle. But behind that quiet, demure, Louis Vuitton carrying persona is a woman with amazing strength and fortitude. During late night discussions I've come to know Jacqui as an amazingly generous and loving woman. Definitely the most prolific writer among the Femmes, she is a case study of the strong, black woman who lives her life with grace and dignity and has been such an inspiration to us all.

Marissa Monteilh is the Femme whose confident attitude we all want to have when we grow up. She is feisty, flirty and fabulous. She can pull a reader (male and female...okay mostly male) over to the signing table with a wink and a smile, and when she's done with them not only do they have signed copies of each of her books, but leave feeling like they are THE man. And she does it without ruffling one feather among any female in the room. How does she do it?

For me, the Femme Fantastik Tour has been such a reminder of how important it is to surround yourself with women of like minds and positive dispositions. They are proof that when you do personal growth is unavoidable. I can't wait to get back on the road with my girls and grow some more.

Carmen's Perspective

2005-05-14T09:48:00.000-05:00

When I got to NC for the Fort Bragg leg of our tour, my only thoughts were of seeing Jacquie, who'd been under the weather for the first portion of our tour, hanging out with the girls and selling books. I got all three and more! Fort Bragg was a super hit. We were treated like royalty. Before we got into the PX, we had ladies in the parking lot walking up, wanting our autographs. This had happened before, but that day I realized why. We looked like celebrities. We were dressed to kill and when you see five attractive, confident women striding through any venue, people take notice.

At Fort Bragg we met and made friends, and one fan traveled 110 miles just to have me sign the first ten books I’d written. I was honored. Truly.

Then there was the Sistah's bookclub. Now the other Femmes have their version of how things went, but my version is the truth. I was in complete control. (this is written with a big cheesy grin on my face) I was only mildly funny when recounting the shopping trip that sealed our future as lifetime Femmes. To say I was completely enamored with the beauty of the home we were hosted in, and humbled by the hospitality of Suzette Perkins and the Sistah’s bookclub would be a huge understatement. They pulled out the stops and they bought books. Suzette’ and the other ladies epitomize what I love about serious readers groups. They had a healthy respect for us as writers and how we're able to stay in business. They don’t share books. They buy their own. They have intelligent discussions about the book, and they enjoy having authors come and talk about their work. For a writer, this bookclub is a writer’s dream.

I’ve been a writer for 11 years. I have twenty-two books sold, and I’m learning something new everyday.

Here’s what I learned while on the Femme Fantastik tour.

Don’t get inexpensive pants dry-cleaned. They shine and not in a good way.

When shopping with friends that are richer than you, stand back. Thieves only find your diversionary techniques annoying. After all, they don’t want the change dropping out the hole in your purse. They actually want the purse you’re blocking.

Nina doesn’t know how to use a GPS. Let’s leave it there.

When Carmen gets sleepy, she’s inclined to be goofy. Right, I’m talking about me. Scratch that.

When Victoria offers you lip gloss to grease up for a fight, run.

Marissa has several personalities. They have names. And clothes.

Lori likes to lie on innocent people like me. I’m totally good. I promise.

Jacquie Thomas is a saint. Really.

The Femme Fantastiks may come to a city near you. If you’re interested in hosting us, contact Lori or Nina. Until next time, I salute you!

Carmen

PS. I tell stories for a living.

2005-05-11T09:36:00.001-05:00

Ready to Go

2005-05-11T09:36:00.000-05:00

Hard at Work

2005-05-11T09:35:00.000-05:00

More Fantastik Fans

2005-05-11T09:31:00.002-05:00

Diva Readers

2005-05-11T09:31:00.001-05:00

With Jason Rosenberg and Country Music Star

2005-05-11T09:31:00.000-05:00

Long Distance Fan. She traveled over 130 miles to visit us

2005-05-11T09:30:00.000-05:00

Display at Ft Bragg North AAFES

Fallin' Out With The Sistahs Book Club

2005-05-10T21:10:00.000-05:00

One of the perks of being an author (besides being able to go to work in your pajamas) is the incredible fan base you develop all over the country (and the world if you're lucky!). Since we kicked off the Femme Fantastik Military Base Tour, we've had the honor and privilege of meeting with some terrific local book clubs along the way. In Houston, the Good Book Club welcomed us with warmth and charm and provided us with some good ole' Texas hospitality. As fabulous as they were (and they were fabulous) the Sistahs Book Club in Fayetteville, North Carolina was truly fantastik!

We should have known something was up when instead of meeting at three o'clock as prearranged, they asked if we could push it back until five. Why? Because they had to do a bit more rehearsing. Hmmm...that should have been a tip off. But I think we were all too tired from the excellent afternoon spent at Fort Bragg to notice. So we killed some time by having a light snack together and one drink (I swear it was just one, but judging by the silliness that ensued that evening you'd have thought we were drinking pitchers of martinis like one designer bag carrying Femme).

Just coming from a big military base, we weren't all that surprised to see that most of the women were dressed in army camouflage fatigues. We should have been. We said our hellos and settled into our seats and then the troops, led by 'general' Suzetta Perkins, took over. The Sistahs Book Club took our military base tour to heart and choreographed the most wonderful routine complete with a flag waving parade, mock inspection, and marching drill. They had us doubled over in laughter and we were totally blown away by all the time and effort they put into this on our behalf (and I haven't even begun to talk about the yummy dinner they prepared--complete with a Femme Fantastik cake frosted in camouflage!).

When they came to 'at ease' it was time for our part of the program. Perhaps we should have rehearsed as much as the Sistahs because for some reason our reading became a comedy act lead by our sweet and crazy (okay, the girl is 'touched') Carmen. It started off well. Jacquie got things going by reading from her new novel, Saved in the City (in stores now!). She was professional, thought provoking and dignified. Then all hell broke loose. Carmen (think Lucy Ricardo) decided to go all the way USO and entertain the 'troops' with her rendition (a loose interpretation I might add) of the Femme Fantastik's Atlanta shopping expedition. The actual story (which you can read about when you pick up Nina's new book, Marrying Up, on June 28) involves five authors (three with purses and shoes that could pay your morgage for a couple of months) window shopping in Nordstrom's; a stalker/thief; a really bad afro wig; a hideous Hawaiian shirt; a bold confrontation; a dash into the mall; a quick confession and a boatload of smack talking. Well, you can just imagine the sight of Carmen acting that little skit out (with the other Femmes chiming in their corrections and additions). Maybe you can't. You definitely had to be there. But I will tell you, the room was howling with laughter. Carmen's warm up act had great impact on the audience because by the time Lori and Victoria finished with their reading the group consensus was that we should be talking to some folks about a Femme Fantastik television show (that seemed to be a reoccuring theme in North Carolina. Perhaps we're just a lot funnier down south).

The bottom line is that we had an amazing time and when we left several hours later, the Femme Fantastik authors were just as big fans of the Sisthas Book Club as they were of us. And that's how it should be...

Fort Bragg, North Carolina

2005-05-08T19:38:00.000-05:00

The mood was pretty festive this weekend in Fort Bragg. Although it was cold and rainy in Ft Bragg, the Femme were ready to go. Jacquie asked if we could speak to her son’s first grade class and we agreed, not realizing that she meant over 100 kids. They were happy to see us though and inspired us we close to one hundred questions. Really.

We had too much fun at our seafood dinner and lots of stuff happened that I promised not to mention in this blog. A promise between Femmes is a promise, so I will only give you highlights.

“Look, Nina is CHEWING!”

Batteries.

Carmen had never experienced a hush puppy.

“Can I have some oyster with that hot sauce?”

Mother’s Day not Easter? (If you figure this one out I will send you a free cover flat)

Ziploc bags. (And this one gets you a free book)

Our host from AAFES laughed so hard he thought we were better than THE VIEW. He also thought that Black Expressions meant he should say, “Hey, What’s up?” He wrote Oprah about us. Can someone please call TV ONE? Or the WB?

Victoria worked the scarf and sunglasses at night.

I was going to jack Mrs. Thomas for her FABULOUS handbag, but Victoria had her back. (I coulda taken them. For real though). Folks came in from the parking lot to say hello.

And as the hotel, let’s just say it was like grown up summer camp or a Femme Fantastik Slumber party. There were women literally streaking down the hallway in their Femmetastik pajamas. It wasn’t me.

And the signing, well, Lori was in RARE form. She is most definitely the comedian in the bunch. There were readers who drove for over 130 miles to see us, bringing the earliest of Carmen’s 20 plus books to be signed. (We are talking ancient history here).

We were treated like royalty and showered with gifts. Jason Rosenberg knows how to put on a top notch show. Everyone was so appreciative it gave me chills. Did I mention the gifts? Make sure you check out the pictures.

Lying for a living has it perks, the good feelings and friendships being the best.

Throw on your M.E.N.K.

2005-04-14T22:05:00.000-05:00

It's not always easy being a Femme, let alone a Fantastik one. The day-to-day challenges of simply being a woman in this world run by men can get in the way of the very best of us. So trying to be a diva can be downright difficult. First, let's be clear about the label 'diva'...We're not talking about the egotistical, the world revolves around me, what have you done for me lately diva. We mean a woman who exudes confidence, good taste and the willpower and courage to go after her dreams. A woman who understands the importance and power of sisterly friendship, who isn't afraid to support another fine Diva because she's afraid that her light might be dimmed in the process. In a nutshell a Femme Fantastik. This tour was born over drinks in Atlanta, Georgia. Many of us were meeting for the first time and after a martini or two the idea to tour together became a plan and now eight months later, a reality. Now putting six, beautiful, accomplished, opinionated, talented and talkative sisters together to organize and administer a fete like this had disaster written all over it from the gitgo. And sure, we had a few initial bumps in the road, but when it came to crunch time the support, understanding, enthusiasm, and respect for each other was front and center. And through friendship, laughter, and the love of many supportive fans, the Femme Fantastik Tour is proving to be a rousing success. It is fast becoming a movement in the making. And as with every movement there is a cohesive motto that unites its followers with a common belief. Femme Fantastiks women operate with the M.E.N.K. mentality: We MELD intellect with compassion * ERASE fear with faith * NEVER confuse pride with power and * KNOW love will never fail. And while six Femme Fantastik divas may come to your city, we expect to meet many more like us and leave even more behind! So throw on a little M.E.N.K. today and wear it proudly...just like the Fantastik Femme you are!

Fort Sam Houston

2005-04-12T19:49:00.000-05:00

Femme Tour Trials

2005-04-04T19:32:00.000-05:00

6 Women traveling together, who would've thought? I have to admit that I was really worried about six females together in close proximity and getting along enough to survive it for 48 hours. By the end of our trip I was pleasantly surprised.

Carmen came in the night before and after working all day and then traveling in the afternoon, she was up for anything. She even went grocery shopping with me with no questions asked and sat down while my young one interrogated the strange woman that was about to stay in her room.

The rest of the Femmes joined us the next day, right on time. It was a VERY energetic bunch as we were joined by our male guest author, Victor MGlothin. He had been dubbed, "Man Child" by the store manager. Victor was very gracious and seemed to understand that us women, we were the ones running the show.

And the things we talked about in the car. I can't write them here, you see, we all agreed that what was discussed in the car remained in the car, but we learned a lot of things about one another.

We shared.

It was a good thing. Remove men from the equation and pass a few dried pineapple snacks and everyone became very forthcoming. And the fact that I refused to stop to let anyone go to the bathroom or even eat helped. They were my prisoners. We talked and crossed our legs to take our minds off the need to relieve ourselves and our hunger.

The thing that will stick with me most though was the gratefulness of the soldiers that we talked to, even the ones who had just returned from Iraq the day before. They were out there the past few months laying their lives on the line for us, and they were so surprised and glad that we would visit them and sign our names to books that they paid for. The time in the car was a small sacrifice. The only bullets flying at my head were friendly jests from friends.